I think planning is probably one of the most complex and layered parts of the event industry. Years ago when I first started, I made the mistake of accepting a job as a planner in addition to doing the design, and I remember spending a whole afternoon making 20 phone calls just to set up one meeting. This was just one minuscule part of planning, but for me it was an eye opener.

I have had the pleasure (and pain) to work with many planners in my 30 years of business, and I can safely say that getting the wrong planner can be a huge pain in the ass. Not just for me, but also for the unsuspecting clients. Saying that you are a planner does not make you a good one. If you designed your own wedding or party and you enjoyed it, great, but that does not make you a planner.

Here, in my humble opinion, is what makes a great planner:

• Experience, experience, experience. I think one can safely call him or herself a good planner after working on at least 20 events. (Even then, it depends on what kind of events.)
• Knowledge. Knowledge can be acquired through practice or by taking a very informative course to give you a base. (The best course I know of is offered by the Wedding Planning Institute.)
• Great attention to detail and the ability to improvise. I think a good planner is one that can turn a bad or tense situation good without the client ever knowing. (In every event, something always goes differently than we planned.)
• Last but not least, leave the drama at home. Again, maybe it’s just me so forgive me, but I have encountered more than one planner who was a crazy maker.

I am completely in awe of the business of planning with all its layers and intricacies. I applaud everyone who wants to get into this exciting business, but please remember it takes time and effort. Yes, you can go ahead and call yourself a planner and start your journey, but it takes a bit longer to become a good one.

I’d love to know what you think determines a good versus bad planner. Please share in the comments.

I had a mother say to me once, “This is her wedding but it’s my party. I am paying for it,” and I just had to sit there and smile.

In my experience, I have encountered several scenarios:
1. The bride and mother are completely in sync with their design tastes. (This is a very beautiful thing.)
2. The bride and mother have completely different design sensibilities, however the mother is invested in giving her daughter what she wants. (Also great.)
3. The mother wants it her way regardless of what her daughter wants.

Whenever a bride and her mother do not agree on design, it turns into a challenging yet exciting job. In some ways, I end up getting to play both therapist and mediator.

Here are a few strategies I have used with good results:

• Compromise. For example, I suggest that I’ll design the ceremony exactly as the bride wants it, then design the reception for the mother’s taste.
• Figure out ways to meld design opposites. If the bride likes contemporary and the mother likes traditional, I try to create a contemporary space with traditional touches. This balance needs to be handled extremely carefully to make them both happy.
• If all else fails, try very carefully to introduce a third option for the design that neither of them considered. (This is tricky, but sometimes it works!)

Aside from having this dynamic with brides and mothers, I find it even more difficult working with charitable benefits committees. I really appreciate these wonderful groups of people who generally want to help others in need, but at times I think they are out to drive us designers crazy, ha ha… (We’ll talk more about this on Thursday’s Common Mistakes: Not choosing the right charity to work with.)

I am mostly in awe of the mother/daughter relationships I see. I witness lots of bonding, camaraderie, fun, disagreements and love. What I find really scary, though, is when both families (the bride’s and the groom’s) do not like each other–then I just want to hide.

What do you do when the bride and her mom do not see eye to eye on design? Also when you got married (if you are married), how was the experience with your mom or mother-in-law?

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When did TV programming stop being about information and entertainment, and just become a bunch of crazy people with bad behavior?

If you are in the event industry, I have a question for you. How often have you actually encountered one of these bad behavior “bridezilla” type clients? More importantly, how often do you actually behave like a rude ass with them?

For me, the answer is: not often at all. I must be in another world. In my 30 years of being in business, I have only had to dismiss a client twice for questionable behavior. (I remember being really affected by those experiences.)

I take great offense when our industry is portrayed as this chaotic, frenetic environment full of folks with “the more issues the better” in the name of entertainment. They love exaggerating the ugly drama and show less and less of the beauty in what we do.

I also object to the constant need to compete to be “the best.” It seems to me that anyone who constantly seeks this outside acknowledgment to be deemed “the best” is already lost because he or she has forgotten the true satisfaction that comes from creating art or following a passion. My own belief is that these folks have strayed from what is important to them and needs to find their way back to what will make them happy.

I have been asked countless times to be a judge on some of these reality shows, and I have graciously turned them down for the same reasons. I prefer empowering folks to be their best, not put them down by sending the message, “you are not good enough.” I understand that we all want our 15 minutes of fame, and that these shows can provide great exposure for any artist just starting out, however, enough with the “train wreck” formula.

I wonder, what do you think about the “train wreck” reality shows? Of course there are some good ones (what can I say? I’m only human)–which show is your favorite?

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Ever since I got back from a week in California (for a wedding in Carmel that I was doing), it has been busy busy busy all over the office. We’re working on multiple projects (one being the fantastic event in Central Park last night for the Wildlife Conservation Society), which got me wondering about what you’re up to.

Please tell me, if you can, what major events or projects are you working on this weekend? And, what is your favorite part of this event or project?

Joining the “green” movement in the event industry is still proving to be a great challenge. I am in the business of building and transforming spaces from tents to empty raw spaces, not to mention constantly using thousands of blooms flown in from remote parts of the globe.

Yes, I have heard more than once that we should try using flowers in season (most of the time, these are not my client’s favorite). I am the first to admit that even though a few years ago I was oblivious to making a commitment to try and save the planet, I have made more than a conscious effort to try my best.

Here are a few of the practical ways I introduce some green into my events:

• Re-use materials for other purposes after the event is over. Last weekend, I did a wedding in Carmel where I used these wonderful dark wood floors for the dance floor. We donated them to Habitat for Humanity after the wedding. Most of the materials and vases we purchased for the event were also given to our clients for future use.

• Use local vendors. I needed a small army to execute this event, so I brought only my key designers and backed it up with amazing vendors from the area, saving on fuel. We used local fabricators, lighters, rentals, landscapers and more. Thank you to the amazing Karen and Lisa from Exhibit Floral Studio for your help on the floral design.

• Use flowers from the area. Carmel is an amazingly beautiful place with tons of growing flowers. For this event, I worked with a great landscape architect to create a magic garden, taking most of the plants back to the greenhouse for future use or leaving some for the client’s garden.

Being “green,” for me, is a work in progress. I am still trying to find the balance in creating great designs and being aware of the small changes I can make to create a difference.

What practical ways have you introduced “green” into your company or daily activities? And, I hope you are not like a good friend of mine who is trying to force me to live in almost total darkness to save electricity. (You know who you are!)