This is a little awkward. I am a bride-to-be in the whirlwind of pre-wedding festivities and loving every moment. I have some incredible friends who are graciously celebrating my good news and others who are a little weird in their reception of it. One of the biggest blunders came about when my single sister-in-law showed up to my engagement party in a very sexy white dress; I was floored. When I mentioned this to her, she seemed offended that I was offended, and explained that those rules only apply at a wedding. Am I wrong?
I’m The Bride
First of all, congratulations on your engagement. Secondly, your sister-in-law is either exceptionally rude or just wildly out-of-touch. It’s less the fact that she wore white (not the best idea on her part), but that she didn’t apologize immediately makes me wonder if there was something deeper that we are overlooking.
I don’t know if she was trying to outshine you (maybe she doesn’t even know if she was). What I will say is this; I have seen it all in my 35 years in this business. Mothers outshining brides, maid-of-honors demanding to wear cream; I have even seen planners trying to steal attention! While it really depends on the bride’s comfort level, all weddings--and all events related to them–are about the couple. Though some brides may not take issue, it is a safer and more courteous bet to assume that white or whatever the “traditional bridal color” is in the culture of the couple (and any variation of it) is for the bride. And it’s not only about color. Guests should consider the cut as well. While we all want to look our best (and should look fashionable and feel good),it is important to remember this is the bride’s day to shine and avoid competing with her in any way. Follow the guidelines of the invitation and give a girl her day. Wearing clothing that competes doesn’t steal attention from the bride so much as showcase how limited your sense of etiquette and respect is. Tacky is not a good look on anyone.
That said, Bride, please do not allow this to spoil your big day or your relationship with your sister-in-law. You have a wedding and many events to enjoy together. Chalk this one up to a fashion faux-pas (that she may or may not have done intentionally) and enjoy your celebrations.
Readers: What are your thoughts on this?