I have always said that the wedding I am working on is my “favorite” one because I am being given the opportunity to create something new for my clients. It is in those moments when I also get to enjoy that element of surprise my team and I work so hard to give our clients and their guests (the clients in the presentation, to be clear. One never wants to surprise their clients at their wedding).
One of the most beautiful things about a wedding is that it is a celebration of the special and unique love and tastes between the couple. They are the ones who put the soul into the wedding, and it is their love–and the love around them–that bring the designs we create to life. It is for this reason I want to put it out there to all of the family and friends, acquaintances and even strangers to think about the words they use and opinions they share with couples who are joyfully planning their big day. While it is important for couples to think of guests, it is equally important for those around them not to “rain on their parade” so to speak. Of course, planners and designers are being hired to guide and assist, but too many couples find themselves trying to please family and friends and dodging judgements from people who feel obligated to let them know what they think about their wedding design, location, dates, etc.
Having worked in the industry for 36 years, I have seen the best and worst of people during these times, and many of us in the industry know that we not only need to support brides and grooms with our skills and talent, but also show empathy, respect and guidance while always having a shoulder and ear available. It is my opinion that too many people share too many opinions when they should be sharing more support and kindness. If a date doesn’t work for you, try and make it work, and if you can’t, let the couple know that you will miss the wedding. If you have not received an invitation, do not tell the couple that you cannot wait for the wedding or hope to be invited. If you hate the color pink, keep that fact to yourself when the bride delightfully tells you that’s her favorite color.
There is so much to be said for keeping certain opinions to yourself while allowing others space for things that matter most to them. If it’s not helpful or truly important, it’s better to allow others to plan their wedding with the elements and on the dates that feel most right to them.
You’ll be offering them a gift far better than can be purchased off of any registry: The gift of grace.
Readers: What are your thoughts on people sharing their unnecessary opinions on other people’s weddings? Do you think they are trying to be helpful, “funny” or just don’t think about other people’s feelings?
This Preston Bailey image has no association with the content of this post.