I am a gay man who has been together together my partner for 12 years. I was very excited when gay marriage was finally allowed in my state. My partner and I are getting married in July, but we are in huge battle. He insists of incorporating all of the traditional elements of a straight wedding whereas I think he is wrong. My thoughts are that it took so long for us to get the right to be married that we should create our own traditions. Do you have any advice on this issue?
Dear New Traditions:
I am not sure that I am the right person to answer this question. As it happens I am 100% in agreement with you. I also think that with gay weddings being such a new topic of discussion, we (as gay men and women) could certainly have some fun with it. In fact, when I got married a couple of years ago, I took the liberty of having my own kind of fun by walking out of a 12-foot wedding gown designed by Reem Acra.
That said, we need to remember that weddings are not about one person, they are very much about the couple. If your fiancé is insisting on having a traditional “straight” wedding, I am sure you can meet him halfway. Let him have his flower girls, bridesmaids, groomsmen and the other elements he holds dear and think of some ways to add things that are new to you. Perhaps even marching down the aisle in a fun way. If you would like, you are welcome to give me a call and I am sure I can be a good middleman to help to find a compromise.
Questions: Have any of you ever done a gay wedding? Do you think all gay weddings should have the same traditional elements as a straight ones?
P.S. The answer to yesterday’s blog is lilacs and rambling roses.