Dancing With Self-Sabotage: Do You Speak In Positives But Think In Negatives?


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Dear Readers:

First, I want to thank all of you for your kind responses to yesterday’s blog as well as your candor in sharing your own personal experiences in dancing with self-sabotage. One of the reasons why I believe the post received the feedback it did is because it is something most of us can relate to. Whether just starting out or preparing to make a presentation in front of millions by way of television cameras or radio waves, the truth is that all of us have moments of doubt. Can I do this? Am I worthy of the opportunity being presented? Did I simply “get lucky” or am I good enough?

Speaking candidly, getting out of bed yesterday was difficult and reaching for that journal took more effort than a simple mention in a blog post let on. Just like those moments when one has to remind oneself of all of the times they forced themselves to go to the gym and how glad they were post workout, I had to say, “Preston, you have been here before. Make the effort to overcome this.” There was a pillow arguing against it, but ultimately, my determination won (albeit by a hair–I hope you see the humor in that).

Today, I want to talk a little bit about the way we set ourselves up to succeed or fail. Those who believe they can achieve often take more risks and seek out more opportunities than those who allow limiting beliefs to overwhelm them and talk them out of the game. This seems obvious, but think about it. How many times have you watched someone or yourself speak in positives yet act in negatives? Sure, they carry that can-do attitude around like a great accessory, but deep down, they’re telling themselves that they are a fraud or that they will never be like so-and-so, are too old to start a new business, or a million other lies. Their actions reflect their inner dialogue. Perhaps they work without doing the necessary research, stay home instead of network, see the success of someone else as a threat, and react in ways that close doors and keep opportunities locked out.

I would like to ask you all to write down three self-sabotaging beliefs and ask yourself the following questions:

I. Is this fact or fiction? Do I know this to be true or am I guessing this to be true? What proof do I have?

II. If it is true, what are three ways to handle it and move the situation into a more positive and productive direction?

III. How can I make sure not to face these obstacles again?

The definition of success is arbitrary, but failure is eminent when we do not take action. By taking control of our thoughts, we change not only how we see and act in the world, but also how the world sees and reacts to us.

What do you think of this idea?



(Photo Courtesy of Lucie Robinson)