To Love, Cherish and Obey(?)
April 19, 2010
In most ceremonies I’ve worked on around the world, I find the traditional vows have started to change to become more personalized for each couple. I think this may be happening mostly because of the word “obey.”
We, as a society and culture, have indeed come a very long way in our thinking about relationships, yet I still feel we as individuals have a lot to learn about the interpersonal dynamic of relationships, especially on the issue of control. I find most business folks are highly controlling and have a very hard time leaving this aspect out of their marriages or relationships.
I truly believe that most controlling folks (me included) cannot help themselves. They are not in control of their controlling. Control mostly happens when we force our views on someone else, which could work beautifully in business but not always at home.
So, the next time you find yourself trying to mold your spouse or significant other to your own will, stop and ask your self: Is this best for them or for me?
Not all control is bad…what are the positive and negative aspects of being controlling? And, if you really want to share, please tell me: Are you controlling?