Should I Be Guilted Into Wearing Someone’s Wedding Dress?
June 10, 2016
My future aunt and I are very close and she’s been a wonderful support to me throughout my relationship with her nephew. So close, in fact, that she already calls me her niece and has asked me to wear her wedding dress. My fiancé sees her as a second mother and is fond of the idea. I really appreciate the gesture, but I don’t want to wear it. How do I tell her without hurting her feelings?
Not Ready To Wear
Dear Not Ready,
How fortunate you are to have such a wonderful relationship with your fiancee’s family. Your new aunt sounds like a very generous woman, as do you. While I understand why you are a little worried about offending her, I suggest you put the anxiety aside and embrace the gesture for what it really is; a kind offer from a woman who respects you and sees you as a member of her family. By taking this stance, you change your own mindset and filter information in a way that will have you more relaxed when you take her out for dinner to talk about the wedding planning. Let her know that you really appreciate the offer to wear her dress but have had your heart set on a dress (or style of dress) for quite some time.
Other options? You might see if she is open to your altering her dress to look more like the one you hope to wear or perhaps have a piece of her dress sewn into yours. If you or she are not keen on those ideas, perhaps she has another item you can place into your bridal look so that she feels included on your big day.
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