PB Brides: My Fiancé Is Furious I Won’t “Dress For Him” At Our Wedding

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Dear Preston:

This is a strange situation to ask anyone about, most especially you.  My fiancé is a very old world kind of guy with specific ideas about various things. I love so much of him and have learned to accept the rest, as most of us do.  The problem we are facing is that he has taken particular interest in my dress and look for our wedding day and it conflicts with mine so much that it is causing arguments. Just recently, he looked at me in the middle of the (fourth!) discussion about my dress, hair and makeup and asked, “Are you dressing for your guests or for me?”  I was shocked.  I want to look the way I have dreamed of looking and think he will like it, but I also don’t want to keep having these arguments. In your experience; has a groom ever been involved with the bride’s look?

Man in My Mirror


Dear Mirror:

I read your letter in a state of shock.  I hope your response to your fiancé was that you were not dressing for your guests or him, but for yourself.  I would hope that those who love you would be able to see your inner and outer beauty just the same–with or without makeup or a specific style of dress– as you will undoubtedly be a gorgeous bride. It is my experience that brides are also more comfortable and confident when wearing the dress, makeup and hairstyle that makes them happiest.

Mirror, I am not about to get into anyone’s relationship or tell you what to think, say, do or how to dress as I do not believe anyone has a right to push another to be anyone other than the person they want to be. How one chooses to dress and look is an extension of their freedom of individuality and expression.  I want to ask you if you have told your fiance how you feel about this topic or if you have simply tried to explain why you want to look the way you do. If it’s the latter, I encourage you to open up and be honest about how this approach and behavior makes you feel. All healthy relationships require respect and open communication and perhaps your fiancé is well-intentioned and unclear about how strong you feel about this.

In the end, I encourage you to stay true to you, to be honest with your love and I wish you both a very happy life together; one that makes space for the both of you.

Readers: What do you think? Should she give in or hold her ground?



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