I Am Concerned About My Maid-Of-Honor’s Weight

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Dear Preston,

I have a delicate question to pose – one that I know I am going to get a lot of slack for. My sister, whom I adore, is the obvious choice for my Maid-of-Honor title. She and I have been joined at the hip since childhood and she is one of the most beautiful, intelligent and uproariously funny women I have ever known. There’s only one problem: she’s obese. Now, before I go on, this is not about my wedding photos, but more about her comfort level amongst the bridal party. The dress all of the girls love would not look flattering on her and the destination bachelorette party we dream of having would put her in positions that would make her feel uncomfortable. I have tried to gently to suggest that start working out with me and even asked her to visit a nutritionist and do a diet delivery service with me as my treat, but she hasn’t picked up the hint. I don’t want my sister to feel out-of-place but I also want to enjoy my friends and planning my wedding. What do I do?

Concerned

Dear Concerned:

This is something I am sad to say I hear often via angry brides and maids across the world, but no one ever really has the courage to put pen to paper and lay it out. While I appreciate and value the love you have for your sister, I would like to gently remind you that loving her means accepting her for who she is. Your sister is your “obvious” choice for the MOH title because she has supported, respected and accepted you for all of your awkward qualities and imperfections and likely loved you not in spite of them, but more for them. I understand that you’re concerned about her dress and comfort level on your bachelorette bash, so let’s address those two points first:

1. Get her a special design in your color of choice or give the maids options between designs that flatter all shapes and sizes.

2. Make sure there are ways for everyone to enjoy the bachelorette trip you settle on. Spas, steam rooms, brunches and swimming pools are enjoyed by all women.

Now, let’s get back to the big picture: as far as we know, your sister is happy with who she is. She hasn’t turned to you, her closest confidante, with concerns or accepted your offers to “help” her go from voluptuous to Victoria (Beckham). She has even overlooked your well-intentioned-yet-likely-hurtful mentions of her weight. I think she’s a fantastic choice for your right-hand woman on your big day and beyond, and suggest you focus your energy on planning your special day. I would also think about what amazing gift you’ll present her with in your bridal suite.

Blessings,

Preston

 

 

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