Dear Preston: My Planner Is So Full Of Herself That I Can’t Take It Anymore!
May 3, 2016
My mother-in-law insisted that I hire a planner for my wedding. I totally agreed with her as I think there are way too many details to do it all myself. I ended up hiring the most high-end (and most expensive) planner in my area. I was told that she was “the best” by several people. This is my only problem: When I try to talk to this planner, she constantly interrupts me and brings the story back to herself. She does this every single time! I have started to feel that my wedding is her show and not at all about me.
I have already given her a hefty deposit. What shall I do?
Not Being Heard
My first reaction to your letter is to tell you to fire her. Yes, in fact I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest you get rid of her immediately. My dear, this is your wedding; you are the bride. This planner (and everyone around you) is these to provide you the best service possible. The ability to listen with an open mind and heart is a huge part of this.
I am sure this planner might be great for others who may find her self-centered stories entertaining, but being made to feel this way as you plan one of the most important days of your life is unacceptable. That said, I think you should show grace and let her down easy. Be honest with her and tell her that you don’t feel you are a good match. If you want your money back, I would tell her that you wish to part company in a fair way and ask her to consider reimbursing some of her fee. I am certainly not one to try to spend your money for you, but if I were you, I would be willing to bite the bullet and walk away. Planners play a huge part of a bride’s day, In fact, I often feel that they are the unsung heroes of the event world.
Finally, I promise you that this is not common practice. I have encountered some of the most amazing planners in my years of business. Keep searching and I am sure you’ll find the right planner, one that respects and listens to you. That is what you deserve.
Question: I try very hard not to be judgmental in my blogs, but this planner makes me angry. What would you advice the bride?