Dear Preston: His Mom Doesn’t Want Us to Marry
March 6, 2012
I just got engaged, and we’d like to get married in the next three months. However, my future mother-in-law keeps telling us that we need at least a year and a half to plan our wedding. But I’ve already checked with the vendors I want to hire, and they’re all available. I’m starting to think she doesn’t really want us to get married at all! What do you think? Do we need more time? And how should I deal with my fiancé’s mother?
Eager to Wed
Dear Eager to Wed,
There’s no rule that says you have to take a certain amount of time to plan your wedding. I’ve planned weddings for clients in as little as three weeks! Then again, I’ve also planned weddings for clients who weren’t getting married for two years.
But let’s discuss the really alarming part of your letter — your new mother-in-law’s comments. There’s no question that this is your wedding and that you and your fiancé should plan it as you both see fit. However, you can’t ignore this gut feeling you have about your mother-in-law’s intentions.
If I were you, I’d work on strengthening my relationship with her. Perhaps you can compromise and get married in nine months instead of three? This will give you a chance to win her over, and she won’t feel like you’re ignoring her opinions.
Also, forgive me for asking, but is there a reason you want to get married so quickly? The more time I have to design and plan a wedding for a client, the more cost-efficient I can make it. Ideally, I like to have at least six months to create my clients’ dream weddings.
Dear Readers, is there a perfect length of time for planning a wedding? What advice would you give this bride? Please share your perspective in the comments.