Behind-The-Scenes: How Often Do You Give Other’s The Benefit Of The Doubt?
December 24, 2014
Note: I have given my staff two weeks off for them to enjoy their families for the holidays. As such, my offices are closed and this is republished post. Live blogging will begin again on January 5, 2015. Happy holidays and a very happy New Year to you all.
This morning, as I was walking past the newsstands, I came upon several cover stories that showcased a number of well-known names and faces. The headlines splashed promises of revealing “shocking” untold stories and facts the public never knew “until now”.
Though none of these faces have been out of the limelight in years, these revelations were bringing a new dimension to their personas. They were making them human, thus relatable (and also quite vulnerable in our judgement-heavy world). The bottom line: The entire world was looking at these folks with an idea about what made them tick not knowing that some of them were feeling so badly about their lives that they were falling over crying about their “hitting rock bottom”. I wonder how many of the people they interacted with in those not-so-great moments took the silence or scowls personal during that time.
I began to think about how everyone loves a good, juicy story (admit it), but few do the work to get it on their own. Instead, we all tend to piece together our own stories through our ideas of who people are, most of which are based solely on our own fears and projections.
Working in the events industry, I have seen and heard it all. From family members speaking negatively about one another (or refusing to speak alltogether) to guests making remarks so shocking I wondered why they even bothered to come to the event at all. When this happens, I often find myself wondering about the back story. If a bridesmaid is mad at the bride on the wedding day, I wonder why her first response is to be annoyed instead of simply giving the benefit of the doubt to the friend who loved her so much that she wanted her to stand with her on her special day. When one of my staff members finds themselves feeling put off by a colleague who has exemplified what they deem to be “rude” behavior, I always encourage them to look at the big picture and ask themselves, “Is this common or could this colleague be having a difficult day or not even know they said or did something to offend the person.” What is going on “behind-the-scenes” with this person?
I have found that, in this industry in particular–we creative folks are a passionate bunch– this approach has helped me a great deal.
Today, I would like to ask you all to think about how often you rush to judgement VS taking a behind-the-scenes look? Tell us a story when you would have appreciated someone doing this for you.